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MOANFACE: The Dangers of Being Overweight in 2014

If this was an article about the dangers of smoking and how disgusting it is for your health and fitness, I’d get 100% agreement. Cigarette packets are labelled with graphic images of diseased lungs and slogans such as “Smoking causes cancer”. However, if a fat person is advised by anyone that their size may be unhealthy – all hell breaks loose. You’re accused of ‘Fat-Shaming’. Please, fuck off (this is pretty much the tone of the article, you’ve been warned).

Heart disease is the UK’S BIGGEST KILLER. 1 in 5 men and 1 in 8 men will get it. In America 1 in 4 deaths is due to it. It’s caused by fatty deposits in the arteries, no argument, point blank, there you go. Check out the myths vs. facts image below, click to see it full size [source: http://visualization.geblogs.com/visualization/heartdisease/]

Now, I’m not particularly on the Katie Hopkins bandwagon here, although she does have a point (she just delivers it in her usual tit-ish, arsehole manner) and I don’t think you should run up to fat adults and kids screaming “FAAAAT. FATTY! FAAAAT! BLOB, BLOB, BLOB!” but I do think particularly when it comes to kids, poor diets and being overweight needs to be addressed.

I’m not skinny, never have been and never will be. Towards the end of last year I noticed that I had bigger tits than some of my female friends and needed to address the situation. Being fat was something I’d done to myself; it wasn’t something that happened to me; I’m not a victim of my size – it’s very much my responsibility. I still have a way to go, but I’m getting there and I’ve been blown away by the massive amount of FREE support and information that’s available. Below is me then (on the left) and me now (the two on the right).

I know that there are certain conditions that can cause people to gain excess weight such as an overactive thyroid etc and for the majority of these conditions, our fabulous NHS can help but 9/10, it’s simply an overactive pie-arm, shovelling Greg’s sausage rolls into their faces at a rate of knots.

Change4Life Be Healthy Challenges list[1]_Page_2-1Overeating can obviously be caused by depression, eating disorders and other mental problems and I want to take a very serious moment to give that a mention. There is help available for these conditions that should never be overlooked and you’re NOT weak for addressing them. Please don’t think I’m insensitive to this, I can assure you I’m not; this article is aimed at people who really just eat way too much.

100% Fat Free

We don’t live in a society that consumes food anymore, we live in a society that consumes food-like products; loaded with MSG’s, aspartame, high-fructose corn syrup etc, etc, etc. Something labelled 100% fat free is 9/10 loaded with sugars to compensate, which when it hits your system, is immediately converted to fat.

Cheap food is bad food. We’re too busy to make meals these days and I say that as a guy, on my own, cooking for myself. If you’re a parent with a partner and 3 kids, the time must vanish and so Smiley Faces and Turkey Twizzlers become the most viable option – but, consider making large vats of food and freezing it into portions that can be defrosted. There’s always a way around it.

The insipid Gok Wan (who insists on continually talking like a frigging aeroplane captain with that ridiculous speech pattern) tells us it’s all bloating, and that eating sugar-filled yoghurt will make you skinny and happy. I very much doubt that’s how he lost his masses amounts of weight as he often shares how he was an obese child. I do however know all too well the horrible feeling of bloating – being a lactose-intolerant who LOVES cheese (I should be the face of Imodium – sponsorship anyone?).

2013010120-PDFOh, take Acidophilus, it’s AMAZING. It’s all the bacteria you’d find in a probiotic yoghurt, except without all the crappy additive filled yoghurt. I swear to god, you’ll be as regular as clockwork. Get it from Holland & Barrett and be sure to keep it refrigerated once open.

We live in a society where everyone needs to ‘treat yourself’ and adverts tell us that we need to indulge – of course they do! They’re trying to sell their goddamn product! Can you imagine? “mmm, sumptuous, crunchy, sinfully delicious… lettuce” – Me neither.

100% Fat Kids

Kids are so fat. Really, they are. It was widely published recently that you should be able to see a child’s ribs; just a little, and that this is healthy. Now I don’t know the ins and outs of that, but you should definitely be able to see a child’s face and fingers.

fat-kidKids want what’s bad for them. Christ! EVERYONE wants what’s bad for them. But parents need to learn about nutrition and I’m sorry but so much information is available out there to make better decisions.

The National Curriculum is massively to blame. I was in High School only 9 years ago (I’m 23) and both P.E., Food Tech and Biology were a bloody joke – our Food Tech teacher (who was a total cow) had this enormous Tupperware filled with processed salt and insisted on adding it into everything. P.E. was just as bad; I ended up in hospital after being knocked unconscious on the frozen playing field whilst trying to play rugby in -5 degree weather (in shorts)… ok you can stop laughing now.

Kids need to be taught about nutrition and just like they’re told in Year 6 and Year 9 they’ll get an STD without a condom, they need to be told the real dangers of eating shit.

100% Nutrition

If you’re one of those people whose ‘body is a temple’ then I hate you, fuck off. I’d sooner punch an old woman in the face than ‘go organic’. It’s about balance and moderation. The EU, who we all love to hate, enforce all food manufacturers in the UK to add nutritional labels that give a % of nutritional intake based on each portion.

tumblr_mnffbnMzOT1rvi40fo1_1280Firstly, check the portion size, sometimes a manufacturer can say it’s only 50 kcal a portion but a portion is the size of a 5 pence piece. Follow these guides however and count your calories; it’s been proven to control your diet than blindly eating when you’re hungry.

Diets don’t work. That 5:2 diet, I’m sorry to use this word (and don’t leave a comment, I know I shouldn’t use it) but it’s absolutely retarded! I mean seriously, what a load of old shit. Eat what you want for 5 days then starve yourself for 2 – AXK&D#$H!!! It’s not a healthy way to live your life – don’t be surprised if your intestine jumps out and tries to strangle you.

Instead, add foods into your diet – add more vegetables, protein (not necessarily through meat) and slow burn carbohydrates like wholemeal pasta (fuck it, just any old pasta), potatoes and oats. Gradually you’ll shift your habits whilst initially eating the bad things you like; therefore you won’t crave them.

Finally, control your bloody portions AND meat is a luxury, not a necessity; there are so many other places you can get essential proteins from – I’m not going to tell you where, use Google, it’s super easy.

100% Better Skin

You may have noticed but I do sometimes write about skincare products. Being fat wreaks havoc on your skin and I can’t be arsed going into the ins and outs of why, but trust me, it does (in the words of the feature-image Cartman: “respect my authoritée!”). It leaves you looking pale, dull, ashy and almost grey in colour.

Bv_5JzmCEAEgfndANY cardiovascular activity (running, jogging, cross-training… boinking) massively boosts the skin, increasing skin cell turnover; oxygenating the skin through boosted micro-circulation; loads! My own skin has become so low maintenance since starting this 7 months ago. Honestly, try it.

*feature image by the fabulous HieiFireBlaze here on Deviantart

Comments
Harvey Specter
Posted at 20:34 September 22, 2014
danniella josephine
Reply
Author

Ohhh my god I love you hahaha. I myself am a little overweight and I keep telling myself I need to start putting something NATURAL and unprocessed in my body but it’s so hard, especially when bad food is so delicioussss! Good on you for keeping up your fitness regime, really wish I was that disciplined.

DID I TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS POST.

Danniella x

http://www.famousinjapan.co.uk

Harvey Specter
Posted at 20:34 September 22, 2014
danniella josephine
Reply
Author

Ohhh my god I love you hahaha. I myself am a little overweight and I keep telling myself I need to start putting something NATURAL and unprocessed in my body but it’s so hard, especially when bad food is so delicioussss! Good on you for keeping up your fitness regime, really wish I was that disciplined.

DID I TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS POST.

Danniella x

http://www.famousinjapan.co.uk

Harvey Specter
Posted at 13:36 September 19, 2014
Alison
Reply
Author

Jeez Thom, don’t hold back. Rantage aside, its a great article on a topic that increasingly has less to do with aesthetics and more to do with life and death. The average adult knows perfectly well what constitutes a healthy lifestyle. But it requires some effort to eliminate bad habits, which is what it is really, a lot of bad habits acquired over time. Here’s a couple of insights from folks I know. One told me they know they should be doing a/b/c for their health, but it was just another task on top of everything else; the daily diet of bad news, the crappy job, the merciless financial squeeze etc…. Another said they were sick to death of being told how to live. Both valid points, though neither does anything for your cholesterol. I’m disturbed at how much more less healthy choices there are in supermarkets now. The fresh food sections are actually shrinking, while the ready made, packaged ones are getting, well, fatter! by the year. The list goes on. Anyway, great article Thom and I agree with your commenter, Brent. Used to be being overweight was a sign of wealth as only the well off could afford to eat well. Interesting how times have changed.

Harvey Specter
Posted at 13:36 September 19, 2014
Ali
Reply
Author

Jeez Thom, don’t hold back. Rantage aside, its a great article on a topic that increasingly has less to do with aesthetics and more to do with life and death. The average adult knows perfectly well what constitutes a healthy lifestyle. But it requires some effort to eliminate bad habits, which is what it is really, a lot of bad habits acquired over time. Here’s a couple of insights from folks I know. One told me they know they should be doing a/b/c for their health, but it was just another task on top of everything else; the daily diet of bad news, the crappy job, the merciless financial squeeze etc…. Another said they were sick to death of being told how to live. Both valid points, though neither does anything for your cholesterol. I’m disturbed at how much more less healthy choices there are in supermarkets now. The fresh food sections are actually shrinking, while the ready made, packaged ones are getting, well, fatter! by the year. The list goes on. Anyway, great article Thom and I agree with your commenter, Brent. Used to be being overweight was a sign of wealth as only the well off could afford to eat well. Interesting how times have changed.

Harvey Specter
Posted at 11:46 September 19, 2014
BRENT SMITH
Reply
Author

Nice to see you expressing an opinion. Have you never noticed though, that grotesque fatness often seems to go hand-in-hand with cheap clothes, appalling shoes, dubious personal hygiene, chip-pan complexions, and a total absence of good manners? If you are in any doubt I suggest that next time you are in Halifax you buy ME a cappuccino at Caffe Nero, where we could sit outside and amuse ourselves watching all the fat bints with their hideous offspring wobbling along on their way from Greggs to the benefit office, can in hand.
Much more fun than sitting outside, say, the Bluebird watching Binky, Cheska and their chums tripping down the street from Chanel to Vuitton, don’t you think?

Harvey Specter
Posted at 11:46 September 19, 2014
BRENT SMITH
Reply
Author

Nice to see you expressing an opinion. Have you never noticed though, that grotesque fatness often seems to go hand-in-hand with cheap clothes, appalling shoes, dubious personal hygiene, chip-pan complexions, and a total absence of good manners? If you are in any doubt I suggest that next time you are in Halifax you buy ME a cappuccino at Caffe Nero, where we could sit outside and amuse ourselves watching all the fat bints with their hideous offspring wobbling along on their way from Greggs to the benefit office, can in hand.
Much more fun than sitting outside, say, the Bluebird watching Binky, Cheska and their chums tripping down the street from Chanel to Vuitton, don’t you think?

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